The Season Where I Play "Star Wars"

We have lived the in the same house for more than 12 months! It was about three years ago since I could last say that and it is great to not feel like we are bouncing around. The funny thing is, there was a time in life when I had an absolute wanderlust for travel. I loved visiting new places. I loved it when my job required a business trip. I had no problem with the idea of moving to new places and starting all over again. 

That attitude is a bit different now. Who knows if it is having a young family, or this growing desire to sleep in my own bed (without tiny elbows in my back) or sit on my own couch (sneaking in junk food while the kids sleep). But either way - I realize I am in a new season. I want to live in the same place, the same community for good! Today was a great reminder why I want to be planted in a community - and that I am in a different season than I was before (it's taken about three years to embrace this whole "season" thing).

Today we visited the Back to School Festival at Oak View in Huntington Beach. The church launched the annual event to the community three years ago and because of either recently moving to the area with a busy toddler, or just having a baby - and a busy preschooler, I was not able to make it there before. We donated items, but I had no idea what it was all about. Today I was able to catch a glimpse. It was beautiful. There was a line of families waiting for their raffle tickets for door prizes for the kids and backpacks for the new school year. There were volunteers getting everything ready for these families to play games, enjoy a lunch and jump to their heart's content in bounce houses that were really a small city set-up to a kid. 

What was the real beauty? Talking to volunteers that were there each year seeing the event grow - and other events launched in the community (there are several) who hear from the neighborhood families that they know what the church is doing is something they can rely on. The church is being a blessing to them. I'm sure all the "stuff" is great. But it is the ongoing presence, relationship and trust that impacts lives.

This is the type of community involvement that excites me and I want to be a part of (after school tutoring, mentoring, just being present) and experienced before. But now it seems so illusive. This is where my three-year denial (or fog) has been. I've held this idea of so many things I want to do and feel are needful for me to do, then get so bummed that it just feels like I can't make it all work. But, recently I've really grabbed a hold of this new season. I am a mother of a 3 and 1 year-old. My family is getting its roots in a new community. My husband and I are both employed full-time - and my husbands responsibilities often require evenings, or an occasional weekend day away.

Sure, I could still add-on more. There's always that opportunity and many live life doing more above and beyond what I do. But, it's not for me. What I have is enough. It's okay - the season will come again where I will spend more time serving others above and beyond my family. The time will come when I can model giving with your time. Maybe the little 3-year-old and 1-year-old now will be right beside me helping when they are 10 and 7 (and hopefully beyond). For now, I will place my focus right on the family given to me that I prayed so earnestly for and serve outside of that where I can. There is nothing like the joy on my sons face when I sit to play Star Wars with him or when the family get's a wrestling session in (believe me, my 1-year-old dominates - she loves to body slam).

Seasons come and seasons go. Right? Why did I forget this for three years?

It Comes In Three's

It happened just days after my 36th birthday. I was wondering when this would happen and honestly, have been on the lookout for a few years now. The wait is over. I found the first gray hair. Three of them to be exact. It was a moment of, "wait, am I seeing what I think I see?". I had to check with my hubby to confirm and in hindsight - it may not be the best idea to run into a room and ask him in the midst of getting a toddler and preschooler ready to head out the door, "Hey, I need you to come look at something on the top of my head". He gave me a look like either I was crazy or something was really wrong.

There is something about growing older that seems to be nerve-racking for many of us. My closest experience is the dread so many friends (okay, me too up until 28, then I just started to round-up and had 2 years to embrace the idea) felt about turning 30. It is like an apocalyptic birthday. You should achieve all that you expect to in adulthood by then, right? Another thing about turning 30 - you're pretty much no longer cool. That's hard to handle. Now, two of my dearest friends are turning 40 this fall and it's a shrug your shoulders and move along type of event. At least that's how they seem to be handling it.

I felt a sense of pride with the first gray's. I see them as signs of making it through life! Getting to a place where I am really, honestly, gaining wisdom in a way where I am seeing the fruits of letting go of so many things that at one point were SO important. The financial portfolio. The career status. The family status. The way people perceive me. For years I've let go of those items more and more and freed up to make decisions like downsizing in many ways to simplify life. Including willingly knocking down a tax bracket or so to decrease hours at work to have more time to enjoy the people in my life and the beauty of this world around me.

Last night I saw a woman in her mid-to-late seventy's walk into the pool area looking strong and sporting red hair, a tunic top, flowing knee-length skirt and knee high black socks with converse. She made me smile for so many reasons. But one is the reminder that growing older sure can be a heck of a lot of fun. I am loving it!